


It's a Kind of Magic

by drunkenregrets



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Harry is oblivious though, I almost did, I'm awesome at tagging, M/M, Poor Harry, Poor Louis, The ending is pure fluff though, but I was a little hungover while writing this so, like seriously, louis loves harry, you might vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 21:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkenregrets/pseuds/drunkenregrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It keeps happening and Harry really doesn't get it. </p>
<p>"You should tell me if there's like a window open somewhere that I don't know about. And if that's the case I'd tell you to stop climbing through windows and start ringing the doorbell like a normal person."</p>
<p>"Where's the fun in that?"</p>
<p>Or the one where Louis keeps showing up in Harry's house and that's fine, but Harry hasn't even given Louis a key yet. But there's also a lot of angst. And fluff. That sort of thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Kind of Magic

The first time it happened Harry didn't think much of it. He rolled out of bed in the morning and walked into the kitchen while fixing his hair in the infamous way and there was Louis, sitting at his counter, eating his cereal. They hadn't been able to spend a lot of time together lately with their schedule being as brutal as it was, so even though they still saw each other practically every day at work, it hadn't been just them in a long, long time, probably not since they stopped living together. He missed hanging out with his best mate, so he managed to hide his surprise at the unexpected visitor and tried to remember that this used to be normal for them.

"Morning." Louis offered.

"Morning." Harry returned, before taking a seat next to the older boy and stealing the half empty bowl away from him. "How did you get in?"

"I had to resort to magic since you still haven't given me a key."

"I told you I'll have one made."

"I never thought it'd be like this after we stopped living together, Hazza! I thought we had something special!" Louis smiled, his voice high-pitched, loud and playful before he dramatically threw himself on Harry and ruffled his curls.

Harry chuckled, surprised at the physical contact, since things hadn't been like that between them in a while as he managed to take a bite from the cereal. "Shut up. Seriously, though: how did you get in? The cleaning lady?"

Louis rested his elbow on the counter and folded his hand under his chin as he looked around the messy kitchen. "I don't think she's been here in a while, mate."

"I should probably look into that." The curly haired boy agreed, talking with his mouth full. His kitchen was indeed a bit of a disaster area at the moment. It was very unlike him, since the other boys usually teased him about his tidiness, but he blamed their busy schedule for the current state of the house. Or maybe he no longer felt the need to keep things spotless when there was no one around to appreciate it. He hardly ever had guests over, usually preferring getting out of the house and visiting other people.

"Well, I have to go." Louis announced as he hopped off his seat.

"You just came to eat my breakfast?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

And with that Louis disappeared out of the front door leaving a confused Harry to finish the bowl of cereal.

　

　

　

The second time it happened was only a day later. It was late at night and Harry had just finished getting ready for a night out, clumsily putting on his boots while walking into the living room where he hoped his phone would be, since he couldn't find it anywhere. Louis was on his couch like he'd been there all along, flipping channels on the TV.

"Hey." Harry spoke, causing Louis to look up for only a second before turning back to the TV.

"Hey."

The usual sass in his voice and spark in his eyes was nowhere to be seen and Harry frowned, eventually dropping himself on the couch next to his best friend.

"How'd you get in?"

A faint, but not very genuine smile appeared on Louis' face. "It's about time you start believing in magic, Haz."

"You did not get in my house using magic, Lou. You should tell me if there's like a window open somewhere that I don't know about. And if that's the case I'd tell you to stop climbing through windows and start ringing the doorbell like a normal person."

"Well, where's the fun in that?"

"So you did climb in through a window?"

"No."

"And you're not going to tell me how you did get in?"

"Magic!" Louis suddenly shouted, throwing himself at Harry and burying his face in the younger boy's chest. Harry draped his arm around Louis' shoulders, frowing once more. Something was off.

"What's going on, Lou? You look sad."

"I am sad." He murmured, barely audible, nuzzling his face in Harry's shirt, his smaller hands clinging on to the familiar Ramones shirt.

"Did something happen?"

Louis sat up again, avoiding Harry's eyes, leaning his head on the back of the couch.

"What could possibly have happened? Things are going great, right? Number one in, what is it, 37 countries? Screaming girls, immense success. Things couldn't be better."

"There's more to life than just that."

"Is there?" Louis asked, his gaze finally meeting Harry's.

"Jesus, Lou. What's going on? You sound like you're one step away from slitting your wrists."

"Now, now." Louis spoke, thoughtfully patting Harry's curls. "Don't be so melodramatic."

"You're freaking me out to be honest."

The older boy sat up straight before getting up off the couch. "You look like you have somewhere to be. I'm going to go."

"You don't have to go. You could come with me? Or I could stay in and we could-" Harry offered, more confused now than even before.

"No, no. I have somewhere to be, too. We'll hang out some other time, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Louis started to head for the door, before turning around again. "Your phone is underneath that stack of magazines by the way."

"Thanks." Harry nodded, reaching out to the magazines. "Are you sure you're going to be okay, Lou?"

"Always."

"And I really am getting that key made for you, okay?"

But when Harry looked up Louis was already gone and a second later he heard the front door fall shut.

　

　

The third time it happened was less than a week later and it was the time everything changed. It was after a long and intense day of TV interviews and recording in the studio. Harry had been glad to see that Louis appeared to be back to his loud, slightly obnoxious self, joking his way through the interviews and climbing on top of his band mates, including Harry, tickling them and wrestling them to the ground. At some point Harry had thrown his arm around Louis' shoulder and whispered "you're doing better, yeah?", to which Louis had simply sent a charming smile his way and patted him on the back.

Harry was getting ready to go to sleep, surprised he was even tired, since it was rather early for his standards, but the day had been exhausting. All of the lights in the house were off, so when he entered the kitchen in his underwear to fix himself a quick snack to enjoy in bed, the only light that came in was a faint ray from the hallway. It made things a little harder to find, but Harry was up for the challenge.

"Hey."

Harry dropped the plate he was holding, the sound of it hitting the counter echoing through the room as he instantly turned around, causing his elbow to slam against the marble counter top behind him.

"Fuck!" He muttered when he spotted the familiar figure in the doorway, hands in his pockets. "Jesus Christ! Are you insane? You almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here? How did you get in? And don't give me that 'magic' crap again."

Louis didn't reply at first, simply watching Harry rub his painful elbow.

"Why aren't we living together anymore?" He then asked, slowly entering the kitchen and walking up to the lanky boy. "It was fun when we were, right?"

Harry frowned. "Why are you even asking that? It was a mutual decision, wasn't it? We agreed that it was time to move on and we obviously had the money to buy-"

"Don't give me that bullshit." Louis muttered under his breath, coming to a stand still at the counter, only a few steps away from Harry. " _You_ decided it was time to move on."

"I suggested it and you didn't exactly disagree. Why are we even having this conversation? And shit, Lou, I really need to know how you keep getting in."

"Am I not welcome in your house?"

The slightly bitter tone at the word 'your' didn't go unnoticed by Harry, but it didn't make things less confusing.

"You know you're always welcome. It's just a little alarming how you keep getting in without a key."

"Yeah. I reckon it is." Louis sighed, leaning on the counter.

Harry watched him for a second, the light from the hallway conveniently shining on his best friend's face and that's when he noticed. It was hard to miss actually and he was suprised he hadn't picked up on it the moment the boy had walked into his kitchen.

"You're drunk."

"Had a few drinks yeah."

"Alone?"

"I have friends, you know."

"So you went out?"

"No."

Harry sighed, getting impatient with the situation. "Well, I'm really confused, Lou. What the hell is going on with you lately and what are you doing here?"

"I don't like my place. It's empty."

Harry chuckled slightly. "You haven't exactly gone out of your way to not make it that, you know. You only bought some furniture and-"

"That's not why it's empty." Louis interrupted him. "God, you really don't get it, do you?"

"I think it's safe to say I really, really don't. And if this is your way of explaining then it needs some work."

He was barely able to finish the sentence before Louis moved in his direction and within a second he felt two warm lips crashing on to his, the smaller boy falling into him and pushing Harry back against the counter. It happened so fast that Harry didn’t have time to comprehend what was going on, but his hands landed on Louis’ waist, although he wasn’t sure if this was for any other reason than to keep his balance. The kiss turned a little more aggressive for a moment as Louis practically devoured his mouth and Harry reacted instinctively, returning the favor for what must’ve been only two seconds, tasting the liquor on Louis' lips and tongue. Then he pulled back, breathing heavily, finally somewhat realizing what was going on and meeting Louis' gaze.

"Lou..." His voice was barely above a whisper.

His hands were still on Louis’ waist as their eyes met.

"Well, that was stupid." The older of the two spoke lightly, but loudly, stepping away and immediately breaking their eye-contact and their last physical connection along with it. Harry's hands fell to his sides and he felt something he couldn't explain at the loss of touch. "So, I'm gonna go."

"Lou..." Harry repeated, not even sure if any other words were present in his vocabulary at that moment or where to take the conversation from there.

"Forget it, Haz."

And like the times before, Louis disappeared out of his front door without another word, it falling shut behind him.

"Fuck." Harry mumured, temporarily relieved he remembered another word than his best mate's name. What the hell had just happened? His brain slowly seemed to be catching up as seconds, minutes, maybe even hours passed without him moving from his spot in the kitchen. However, it didn't do him much good in terms of making any sense what had just happened. When he finally moved his gaze around the dark space he even wondered if the whole thing had been a fragment of his imagination. He licked his lips and the faint taste of liquor reminded him that wasn't the case at all. His best mate had kissed him tonight and everything was different now.

　

　

After a sleepless night Harry sat on his couch scrolling through the contacts on his phone, stopping when it reached the name he was looking for. His thumb hesitated on the call button, but eventually he threw his phone aside. What was he going to say anyway? Hey mate, listen, it's no big deal you snogged me?  No big deal at all.

Except that it was.

They had today off and it was as much of a relief as it left a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He spent the rest of his day keeping busy, hanging out with friends he didn't even like that much and going for errands he really didn't need. About twice an hour his thumb would hesitate on the call button on his phone, but he was never brave enough to actually push it, eventually leading to another no-doubt sleepless night as he crawled in bed and turned off the lights, knowing that this time he wouldn't be surprised by any unexpected visitors.

　

　

　

Louis entered the studio thirty minutes late that next day, which was extreme even for him, but probably worked out the way he wanted to, since the other boys were already there and he wouldn't have to be alone with Harry. He had to admit he was impressed with the way Louis was keeping up appearances, looking like his usual cheery self, telling his typical ridiculous stories and even ruffling Harry's curls in an almost affectionate way when he was the butt of some joke Zayn made. However, Harry looked right through the facade and it was obvious how their eyes never met, despite his best efforts.

The entire day continued like that, Harry never giving up and spending so much time staring at Louis -although that wasn't all that much different from usually- that he started to notice the little things; the long eyelashes, the perfect cheekbones, the not entirely genuine, but still gorgeous smile. During lunch time he tried to talk to Louis, but the older boy very conveniently appeared to be in a long conversation with Niall, lasting all through lunch and even after that Louis' mouth continued to speak without faltering, talking to everybody but Harry, never giving him the opportunity to step in.

When the day ended Louis was gone from the studio in a matter of seconds, before anybody had a chance to say goodbye to him. The four other boys threw Harry a questioning look when they realized. He didn't know how else to react than shrug, pretending to be as confused as the others and mentioning how maybe Louis was just tired.

He'd had enough though and couldn't stand not talking to his best mate.

　

　

　

Harry wasn't sure how much time he had spent in Louis' apartment when the front door finally opened and the boy in question walked into the dark living room seconds later. Harry wondered for a brief second where Louis could have been since leaving the studio, but he supposed it didn't really matter. He heard him toss his keys on the coffee table and that's when Harry turned on the light next to the comfy chair he was in, naturally startling Louis.

"Fuck, Haz." He exclaimed, bringing his hand to his heart. "What is this? Some Mafia film? How did you get in?"

"Well, it definitely wasn't magic. I have a key."

"Right." Louis mumbled as if he'd genuinely forgotten this fact and it made Harry realize he hadn't actually used the key before. In fact, he had only been in the apartment twice before and never alone, just for the housewarming party and what he thinks was movie night with the other lads. Louis kicked off his toms without looking at Harry and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Are you going to pretend I'm not here?" Harry called after him.

"That's never worked, has it?" Louis instantly responded.

"You tried hard enough at the studio today."

"I'm just making us some tea, okay?"

Harry didn't reply to that and waited patiently for Louis to return to the living room, which he did in a matter of minutes, holding two steaming cups of tea and placing them on the table. He then sat down on the far end of the couch, away from the chair Harry was in.

"It was just a stupid, drunken kiss." Louis immediately spoke, startling Harry with how direct he was being, but Louis wasn't looking up, his gaze focused on a very specific spot on the carpet with his hands carefully folded together in his lap.

Harry hesitated. "You've been drunk before. It never ended with you snogging me."

Louis snorted. "It even sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?"

"I mostly just really fail to understand it, Lou. What happened that night?"

"I really, _really_ don't want to have this conversation."

"Tough luck."

"Like always." Louis murmured. "It really was just a stupid, drunken kiss, Harold. No need to make a fuss."

"Because one straight mate snogging the other straight mate is not worth fussing over at all." Harry sarcastically spoke, leaning over and taking the cup of tea in both hands, before glancing back at Louis who shook his head for a second.

"I really hate that word."

"Snogging?" He asked, although he was already aware that wasn't the word he was referring to.

"Why do people always have to label everything?"

"Makes it easier, I suppose."

"Except when it doesn't. " Louis said. "I just miss you, Haz. I miss _us_."

"We're still us."

"But not like we used to be."

"Which is how?"

"We lived together. We saw each other basically every day when we woke up and before we went to bed and most moments in between. And now, it's like we're barely even friends."

"We'll always be friends."

"Well, those are just words, aren't they? Things are different."

"Different isn't always bad."

For the first time during the conversation Louis' head went up and their eyes met. "So you don't miss me?"

"Did I say that? I still don't understand what this has to do with what happened. If you missed me you could've just said the words."

Louis shook his head, like the simple suggestion was nothing short of ridiculous.

"Remember when the rumors started about us?"

Harry wasn't an idiot and he was well aware of how Louis kept changing the subject. He could tell it was in an attempt to make things clearer, but so far he was still confused.

"About you and me?" He asked as he sipped from the tea in an attempt at normal and casual, even though the whole conversation was everything but.

"Yeah."

"Weren't they sort of always there?"

Louis chuckled, but there wasn't any amusement in it as he looked away again. "Pretty much. But when they got like.. intense?" 

"I suppose. I don't recall the exact moment though."

"It was funny at first."

"It was. It still kind of is, right? It never bothered me." Harry shrugged.

"Because you're like...I can't even say it." Louis suddenly spoke up as he got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth. "It's just that you're really secure in whatever, you know?"

"I might need a different word for 'whatever'." Harry admitted.

Louis' eyes went back up to meet his as he stopped walking for just a second and seemed to take in a deep breath. "Sexuality, Harold. You're secure in your sexuality. It's funny, because you're so young and you _were_ so young and I should have been the one who-"

"Who what? Shit, Lou. I need you to just start finishing sentences and use actual words and make some sense here."

"It started off as just a crush, really." Louis continued, breaking eye-contact, but he seemed calmer and took his spot on the couch again.

"A crush?"

"Yeah. It didn't mean anything. I'd had them before. I could just pretend it wasn't true. I'd gotten very good at that. So that's what I did since then. I pretended."

"Just so we're clear: you had a crush on _me_?"

"Not that strange, right? Everybody fancies you."

Harry couldn't even wrap his head around the idea of so many strangers supposedly fancying him, let alone his own best mate. It _was_ strange. But of course he couldn't say that. He would never say that.

"And you fancied boys before?"

"Yeah. But it wasn't a big deal."

"Okay." Harry nodded, agreeing that guys liking guys really wasn't a big deal, but not sure if Louis truly realized that, too. "And you've been pretending since?"

"Yeah. Because we're mates. Best mates. I got really good at it, too. I mean, probably not if you ask certain fans, but I like buried my feelings, you know. We were mates and that was the end of it. But I guess sometimes I would allow myself to pretend in the other way. When we were snuggling on the couch while watching a  dvd or we fell asleep in the same bed halfway during a really bad show and your hand sneaked around my waist and- you know? I could just pretend that it was real then. And that was enough to go back to really pretending in the day time. Like I could thrive on that or something; those few moments of pretending it was real."

Harry heard the words come out of Louis' mouth and he was truly at a loss for- well, anything. He didn't think he had never even considered that his best mate could feel this way.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I must have had a premonition of how awkward this conversation was going to be." Louis joked, smiling at Harry for a second.

"It's not awkward." Harry objected, feeling pretty strongly about that. They were best friends, of course it wasn't awkward. They could talk about anything. Even this.  "I just can't believe you never told me."

"I never told anybody. Maybe not even myself. That's the thing with pretending: do it long enough and it almost becomes the truth. Almost. The rumors got to me though. The things they said about me, knowing deep down inside they weren't entirely wrong. And I was terrified of you finding out and hating me."

"I could never hate you."

"I was scared, Haz. I didn't want it to be true. I just wanted it to go away. Not just liking you, but liking guys in general."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay."

"You see? I knew you would say that. And it's what _I_ always say and I mean it, but it's somehow different when it's suddenly not about other people, but about you."

"It's still not less okay."

"It is! Especially when you're in the public eye like us, when we have all these girls-"

_Girls_ , Harry suddenly remembered.

"What about El?" He interrupted, not able to wait.

"I had to try, right?" Louis shrugged. "If nothing else. Because that's what it turned out to be: trying, nothing else. Just more pretending, which didn't really matter, because I'm ridiculously good at it."

"Does she know?"

"Maybe. I broke up with her last week, but I don't think she knows why."

It was astounding to see how casual and unaffected Louis seemed to be about breaking up with his longterm girlfriend. There wasn't a single emotion to be found in his facial expression. He looked empty. Just empty.

"Jesus, Lou. Why didn't you tell me? When did you stop telling me things? Important things?"

"I don't know."

A silence fell.

"Okay. So what changed? We've known each other for years and you never kissed me. What made you kiss me the other night?"

"We weren't living together anymore, we weren't spending any time together anymore. What was left was the bad kind of pretending. I didnt have those moments of snuggling on the couch where I pretended you were mine for real and all of that was gone and I just- I lost it, I suppose. I just had to have another moment of pretending. And I was _really_ drunk. Really drunk, Haz."

"I don't understand why even if you never told me, I never saw it. Fuck, I know you so well, Lou."

"Better than anyone." The older boy added.

"Apparently not."

"Don't underestimate what a great actor I am."

Harry smiled at that. "I'm still sorry."

"What for?" Louis asked, genuinely surprised at the words.

"You were really struggling with things and I never even..."

"Never?"

Harry hesitated, moments of the last three years going through his mind where their eyes would lock for maybe a few seconds too long to be casual, their fingers lingered too long or entwined too long, nights on the couch where he would nuzzle Louis' neck as much as Louis nuzzled his. Harry sighed, eventually deciding to let his mind speak.

"I think you're beautiful, Lou. I've always thought so. And of course I knew that the way we are together is more than- I mean, I knew that the way I feel when I'm near you, when I'm with you, I knew that I don't feel that way with any other friend. I just never thought about it or something. I didn't think there was a point in thinking about it. We're best mates, you know."

"Wow. That's really not what I meant. I meant if you ever suspected anything about me and how I might- well, _not_ like girls." Louis spoke, his voice soft.

"Oh."

"But I wanted the answer to the question you just answered too, so..."

Harry sighed. "If you're asking me if I never noticed that it was more than just friendship on your part than there is no easy answer. We'd just gotten really good at being us and there were rumors, but it was all just funny, right? They weren't serious, were they? Not really. So what was the point in thinking about it in any other way? Like really think about it? I just never did. But maybe if I had allowed myself to..."

"I don't really know what you're trying to say here, Haz."

Harry chuckled. "Honestly? Neither do I."

Their eyes met and for the first time in a long while they exchanged a genuine smile.

"It's been a long day. We should get some sleep." Louis suggested.

"Yeah."

"It's late. I could make up the bed in the guestroom for you."

Harry nodded. "Okay."

Louis got up from the couch and started to head in the direction of the bedrooms.

"Lou?" Harry called after him, causing him to turn around with a wondering glare in his eyes. "Come here for a second."

The older boy complied and Harry got up from his seat, watching the blue-eyed boy come closer and closer, until he was finally close enough to pull him into a hug. Louis immediately gave into it, like he had been craving it and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, pulling him even closer. Harry traced slow circles on the back of Louis' neck, something he always used to do, but hadn't done in so long as he buried his nose in the crook of it, taking in the familiar and comforting scent.

"I'm really proud of you." Harry then whispered.

"Why's that?"

"For telling me all this. It doesn't change anything. You and I are always going to be just fine."

"It changes everything." Louis scoffed.

"No, because we're fine. And we'll handle everything else. I just really want you to stop hurting. I want you to be happy and I want you to know that it doesn't matter. You're perfect, okay? You've always been perfect."

Louis pulled back from the hug and their eyes locked effortlessly, their noses impossibly close and Harry noticed the tears in his best friends eyes and it made his heart ache in an unfamiliar way. He couldn't even remember the last time Louis had cried in front of him and maybe that was because it had never happened.

"I've kept it inside for so long. Not just about you, but about... This whole night feels surreal, like I can't believe I said all these things out loud. Most days I was afraid to even _think_ them. What are people going to say, Haz? I mean, not that I'm ready to... but one day, what are they going to say?"

"Fuck people." Harry answered, shaking his head.  "They don't know anything."

"What about the lads? My family? Everybody?"

"You're an idiot if you truly believe that it would change anything for them. It doesn't change you, does it? You're still who you are and we all love who you are. _I_ love who you are." Harry spoke, bringing a hand to Louis' cheek in an attempt to make him fully understand how much he meant those words.

"I know." Louis nodded, taking in a deep breath.

Harry smiled. "What? You're not going to say it back?"

Louis chuckled and sniffled at the same time. "I love you too, Curly."

"Good." Harry spoke, taking a step back and playfully punching Louis' shoulder. "Now show me that guestroom of yours. I can't believe I've never crashed here before."

Louis nodded and turned around, Harry following him out of the room. 

"You're right though. This place is empty. You really need to decorate." He added, looking around.

"Hmm." Louis murmured. "It didn't feel so empty tonight."

 

　

Harry didn't know how much time had passed, but it was probably hours and he still hadn't caught a second of sleep. A million and one thoughts were running through his head, most of them about the eventful night behind him, but also images of the years before and, stupidly enough, images of Louis. They were all just little things, but they left him with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

A small ray of light entered the room, shining on the bed and when he looked up he saw Louis standing in the doorway, wearing only his boxers.

"Hey." Harry spoke, sitting up a little. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just couldn't sleep."

"Me neither."

"And I started thinking."

"About what?"

Louis didn't speak for a few seconds as he stepped forward and closed the door behind him, the darkness instantly returning. Harry thought he heard the older boy take in a deep breath, like he needed the dark and the extra oxygen to gain the courage to speak.

"You kissed me back." His soft, delicate voice then sounded.

Harry swallowed heavily. "What?"

"I was drunk, but I do remember everything. You kissed me back."

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You were just being polite, right? And the polite thing to do when someone kisses you is kiss them back. And you're too polite for your own good. That's it, right? You were just being polite."

Louis spoke the last sentence like a statement, but the question mark was implied and Harry knew he was simply looking for assurance, but also that he wouldn't be able to give him that.

"Haz? You didn't fall asleep, did you?"

He realized he had been quiet for way too long. "No, of course not. I'm right here."

"Then can you answer the question, please?"

Harry didn't think he had ever heard such uncertainty in his best friend's voice and he hated it, but he didn't know what to do about it either. Louis was looking for answers that he wasn't ready to give yet. Answers he hadn't even completely figured out yet.

"Can we just sleep? And talk later?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm sorry I bothered you. " Louis immediately replied and the door opened again. "Sweet dreams, Haz."

"No, I mean here. Sleep here." Harry added, struggling to clarify what he wanted, mostly because he wasn't sure himself. "You can sleep here. If you want."

"Okay."

The door closed again and a few seconds later he felt somebody sitting down on the bed and he moved to the other side, giving Louis the space to make himself comfortable. Once again it seemed as if Louis was trying to gain the courage to do something as he just sat there. It was so unlike him and Harry sighed, reaching out to where he figured Louis' hands were. He gently wrapped his long fingers around the smaller boy's wrist.

"Come here, Lou."

Louis finally gave in and the bed dipped in as he lay down next to Harry, keeping a respectable distance between the two of them, even taking back his arm. Harry rolled on his side, his eyes finally capable of making out where Louis was exactly. He scooted over and realized it was pure instinct when he placed an arm around the small boy's waist. He wasn't thinking, he was simply doing what felt right. He heard how Louis took in a sharp breath, surprised by Harry's touch, before allowing the silence to take over for a few seconds.

"You called me beautiful tonight." He then whispered.

"I know."

It was Louis' turn to move on his side and although Harry couldn't exactly see, he felt the soft breath on his face and he knew they were close. Really close. It didn't startle him like he thought it would. Instead he found himself moving in even closer, tightening his hold on Louis' waist. He made himself as small as possible as he carefully rested his cheek on his bandmate's chest, only the thin fabric of the blanket keeping bare skin from touching. It felt nice and warm and comfortable and somehow familiar.

"You're just letting me pretend, right?" Louis whispered.

"Just sleep, Lou." Harry murmured, suddenly too tired to think about anything.

Louis finally relaxed in his embrace, one hand moving to rest on Harry's head, gently combing through the curls.

"Okay."

"Sweet dreams."

"Yeah, probably." Louis spoke.

 

Harry awoke to an empty bed in the morning, but didn't have the time to contemplate this fact as he realized what had woken him up in the first place: the deafening sound of pots and pans falling to the hardwooden kitchen floor. He was out of bed within seconds, grabbing the pair of sweatpants Louis had apparently left there for him and quickly slipping them on, only one thought on his mind: Louis was in the kitchen, near the pots and pans. This was never good.

"Don't tell me you're cooking." He stated when he entered the kitchen seconds later, his voice low and still sleepy as he brushed a hand through his messy curls.

Louis turned around in surprise, still only dressed in his boxers, holding on to a big sauce pan that Harry was pretty sure had never been used. The rest of the kitchen was a complete and utter mess, pans scattered all over the floor and counters. And were those eggs?

"I was going to." Louis spoke, pure panic spread on his face. "But then I started freaking out and it ended up with pots and pans falling all around me and I dropped the eggs, but I didn't give up, because there's nothing lost as long as there's bacon, right? And even though my mom calls me at least once a week to remind me I'm still not allowed near cooking devices that get hot, I went near it anyway, because I'm an adult and adults should be allowed to cook. But then the pan was hot and now I have a burn on my hand and I'm still freaking out and we're probably having cereal for breakfast."

Harry watched in amusement how Louis struggled for air after that long speech during which he hadn't allowed himself to breathe. At least he recognized this version of his best friend.

"How's your hand then?"

"It's fine." Louis assured him as he finally put down the sauce pan on the counter and opened one of the cabinets. He got out two large bowls, presumably for the cereal, his back turned to Harry.

"Can I see?"

"No, seriously. It's fine. I cooled it and everything."

Harry stepped forward, reaching out to Louis' elbow and slowly turning him around. "Let me see, Lou."

Louis allowed himself to be turned around, but he closed his eyes . Harry took that opportunity to slip his left hand in Louis' right one, figuring that was the one with the burn and gently bringing it up a little to have a better look. There was indeed a small red spot on the skin between his thumb and index finger and Harry tenderly rubbed his own thumb over it.

"It's not bad."

"Told you." Louis spoke, letting out a deep sigh and finally opening his eyes again. "It's nothing."

"I wouldn't say that. Burns hurt like hell."

"I'm still freaking out." Louis suddenly blurted, completely changing the subject without a single warning.

"About what?"

"Last night."

"What happened last night?"

"Don't play dumb, Harold."  Louis spoke, momentarily distracted and just slightly annoyed, like Harry had intended. "You know what happened."

"But I'd like to hear you say it."

The older boy still seemed fairly irritated at this, but apparently decided to humor his best friend, albeit without much enthusiasm and accompanied by a long sigh.

"Last night I told you that I'm-"

Harry waited for a second.

"Go on. It's not a bad word."

"It kind of is though, isn't it? It's not a beautiful word. It's not like 'ethereal'  or- or some other beautiful word. And I've never used it when referring to myself. Not out loud anyway."

Harry was pleased when he noticed he had succesfully distracted Louis from their touching hands as it was Louis who had shifted their positions mere seconds ago, their hands now casually hanging to their side, Louis' fingers gently wrapped around his, still holding on without even realizing.

"Well, right now might be a good time to start."

"Fine." Louis gave in, practically rolling his eyes. "Gay. I'm _gay_. Gay, gay gay. Super gay, even."

Harry chuckled softly. "I don't think there are levels of gay."

"How about the Kinsey scale?"

"I don't think 'super gay' is on the Kinsey scale."

"No, it isn't. They're just stupid numbers. I'm a solid five, in case you were wondering. But- it felt good to say it. That I'm gay, I mean."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Scary, but good."

"I'm glad." Harry smiled. "So should we talk about that other thing you told me last night?"

"Now?"

"Yeah."

Louis immediately relapsed into the same state of panic as before, visibly tensing. It caused Harry to gently squeeze his hand in an attempt to make him comfortable again, but it only made Louis aware of their still entwined hands and he immediately let go and stepped aside.

"I don't want you to think I might jump you whenever I get the chance now." Louis spoke, not looking at Harry. "I mean, I did jump you that one time and that was unfortunate, but I was drunk and I'll stop drinking and I want you to know it won't happen again and nothing has to change, really."

"I'm not afraid that you'll jump me, Lou."

"Good. That's good."

"And I know I said some things last night-" Harry continued, actually feeling nervous about what he was about to bring up, still trying to figure out certain things in his head.

"Don't worry about it. It was a strange night and you said those things to make me feel better and just because you're a nice person and it's fine, it's-"

"Would you stop?" Harry suddenly spoke up. "Would you stop making up motivations for my actions? Stop saying that I only kissed you back to be polite or that I wanted you to sleep in my bed to allow you to pretend or that I called you beautiful only in an attempt to make you feel better or because I was being nice. I never said any of that. You said that. Stop making up excuses for me. I don't want you to do that."

"I don't know what you _do_ want, Harry. I don't know what else to make of it."

"Well, maybe I'm not completely sure of what I want yet, but I do know that I didn't kiss you back to be polite. I kissed you back, because I wanted to. I _wanted_ us to sleep in the same bed last night, because it felt right and I _wanted_ to call you beautiful, because I _meant_ it."

"Okay. So what does _that_ mean?"

Harry didn't think he had ever seen anybody look so confused and hopeless, but also hope _ful_  and both dreading and anticipating what was to come. It suited Louis somehow, in the sense that he had always been a walking contradiction in Harry's eyes.

"I think it means you should be over here and kissing me."

"Why?" Louis asked quietly and immediately, not missing a beat.

"Because I _want_ you to, you idiot."

"How do you even know if you want that if-"

"For fuck's sake, Lou." Harry interrupted him, stepping forward and closing the gap between them, desperately pressing his lips against Louis'. It only lasted a second, before he broke their contact. "Less talking, more kissing, okay?"

"I can do that." Louis spoke, obviously a little shocked and breathless, but nodding his head in a determined and adorable way.

"Well, get on with it." Harry smiled.

And just like that their lips found each other for the third time in matter of days and the heavy, unfamiliar feeling that Harry had been carrying around since the night before finally settled as everything fell into place. He leaned into the warm body that felt so familiar and they fitted together so easily and his hands found their way back to Louis' waist where they had been during their first kiss and where they now belonged. He didn't know how or why or what it all meant, but it felt right and perfect and complete.

They came up for air after what must have been minutes. It was impossible not to notice the large grin decorating Louis' face and Harry suspected it matched his own.

"Can you now please tell me how you keep getting into my house without a key?" Harry suddenly spoke, the mystery randomly popping into his head when he stared into the blue eyes in front of him. He made sure to pull Louis even closer now that their lips were no longer touching, unable to resist and wanting him as close as possible at all times.

"Don't tell me you still don't believe in magic, Haz."

"I'm not saying I don't."

"You just believe in keys more? Is that what you're saying?"

"That is what I'm saying, yes."

"Well, just get me that goddamn key then. I'm tired of sneaking in."

"I'll get it made today."

"No, you won't. Today we're busy."

"Yeah?" Harry asked smiling and raising his eyebrows in the most suggestive manner he could muster up, although he was pretty sure he just looked like an idiot.

"Yeah." Louis smiled, suddenly untangling himself from the gentle, but somehow still tight embrace Harry had him in, completely ruining the moment and taking a step towards the counter. He casusally opened one of the cupboards. "We're going to eat a bowl of cereal for starters. And then you're helping me do my laundry, because you know I'm shit at it and then-"

"Tease." Harry murmured.

Louis turned around, sporting the mischievous look Harry had expected to find on his face as he chuckled softly. "There's no rush. We have _all_ day." The older boy assured him, the mischievous look slowy being replaced by a softer, fond one.

"And tomorrow. And the day after that."

"And the day after that?" Louis asked carefully, allowing Harry to see the little bit of uncertainty and vulnerability he was still feeling.

"For as long as you'll have me."　

　

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe I actually finished this. I started it months ago and I kept going in different directions with it and then abandoning it for weeks, but I would still come back to it and I would erase stuff and add new things and... well, this is the final product, I guess. As good as it gets. I tried to make it work, but I still feel it's obvious that I had no clue where to take the story. Oh well. 
> 
> I apologize for mistakes in grammar and everything else. I'm not a native speaker. 
> 
> For the record: nobody knows how Louis got in. I don't even know. It probably was magic after all. That little shit.
> 
> Also, I'm thinking about writing a sequel to this. Would you be interested? It would probably be about where they go from here and possibly their coming out or something. I haven't figured out the details yet. Well, let me know.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it. You're all lovely.


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